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;void(0)) A few weeks ago I was saddened to receive a phone call from my son who called to inform me that he had just witnessed his maternal grandmother take her final breath at the local hospital where she had been. It was the end of the 2 year struggle he had embarked upon when he put off his final year of college to move in with his mother and grandmother who had been suffering with Alzheimer's Disease for the past few years. I must admit that I was very disappointed when he left school. I knew that his grandmother - whom he was very close to - as his mother and I, wanted him to get that diploma more than anything else. However, his response to me was always: "What would you have done?". That question always stopped me in my tracks because, when he was a small boy he watched as I cared for his paternal grandparents. He saw my father die in my arms. From the time that he was about 7 years old to when he went off to college, he went through the daily grind of helping us care for my mother, who also suffered with Alzheimer's Disease. He was there through it all. He sat with me in emergency rooms on holidays. I remember the sadness and confusion in his young eyes when my mother, who loved him very much, would talk to him as if he were some stranger in her house. When he was in college he went to visit her in the hospital and sat with her knowing that it would probably be the last time that he would see her alive. When he returned to school the next day he got the call that she had passed away. I am very proud of my son. There are no medals nor brass band parades for young people that take on the struggle of caring for their loved ones. Young people like my son are rarely heard from because they stir up very little attention. Their work is silent, and out of sight of the cameras. Their struggle is to uphold one feature of our nation's commitment to family values. For those that work for a living while caring for a loved one with a debilitating illness, life can be physically and emotionally draining. Research has found that a person who provides care for a family member with dementia is highly susceptible to depressive symptoms. Both my parents and my son's maternal grandmother were known for their hospitality and open door policy to friends and family, however, when they took ill their homes developed an eerie silence and emptiness. It is important for caregivers to receive consistent and dependable support from a professional or from a trusted associate. Male caregivers are especially vulnerable to depression since they are less likely to seek help and are more likely to have fewer friends to confide in and are more likely to "self-medicate" their symptoms through irritability, alcohol use, or overwork. Death does not end the stress for the caregiver. Research has found that some individuals continue to suffer with depression up to three years after the death of a loved one. Often these feelings stem from lonliness, while for others it may be difficult returning to a lifestyle that they had put on hold for so long. I still have recurring dreams of feeling my father's body turn cold in my hands. Some caregivers suffer with PTSD symptoms. In an effort to return to a normal life, former caregivers may need to seek out help for depression. For those that have recently lost a loved one it is important to practice healthy eating, exercise, and regular support from positive people. If symptoms of depression are evident do not hesitate to contact your primary care physician and get some professional help. Oh yeah, don't forget your autographed copy of “The Ackee Chronicles”. Tony VanSluytman - the Author  Newsletter Directory The Aton Project - Home Page Tony VanSluytman info Tony VanSluytman - the Author | Return Home | The BOOK DOCTOR | The BANYON NETWORK | The Banyon Buzz Newsletters | The Aton Project Newsletters | Contact Us | |
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