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;void(0)) LANGUAGE OF DEPRESSION IN SOMEONE YOU KNOW When depressed an individual may lose his ability to govern his thinking. Pessimism, anger, and fear are all symptoms that the victim cannot control. Telling the person to “pull yourself together”, can come across as condescending and may only serve to reinforce feelings of gloom and failure in your loved one. Between recognizing the symptoms and getting professional help it is a good idea to know how to communicate with one another. Here are a few symptoms and ways that you can help: Sleep Difficulties Early awakening could be brutal on the sufferer and for you. You will have to train yourself to get up at the same time as your loved one. Your being there dispels her sense of doom. You may help with breakfast or some other chore and express your pleasure at this chance for an early morning chat over a meal. If the person tends to sleep fitfully get him to start taking a warm bath before bed. Equally essential is a good book to read. The room temperature should be at a reasonable level that is conducive to relaxation. Always avoid arguments or heavy meals before retiring. Poor Appetite Depressed persons show an aversion to food. Much of this may stem from guilt feelings and a desire to be punished. You can talk candidly to him, letting him know that you are aware of his desire to harm himself: “Look, I know that you’re hungry but you, for what ever reason, want to deprive yourself of that pleasure. Maybe you’re right in wanting to starve yourself. We’ll talk about that later. But, for now, food comes first. Let’s sit down and eat together.” You have acknowledged that the guilt exists, but without passing judgment on it. If the person still refuses to eat you can put the food away and say something like: “We’ll save it in case you want to eat it later.” It’s important that you let the person know that you are aware that poor appetite is a symptom of the illness. You are identifying with his emotional pain and such sympathy makes him feel better. Loss of Interest in Surroundings and Loss of Pleasure Drive Depression causes a flatness in human responses and causes the person to lose interest in friendships, community, and former excitements in living. These changes are most striking in a person who once loved sports; socializing; and hobbies of all types. You have to force aside the indifference and support any minor response she may have to some activity she used to enjoy. It is important that the depressed person is methodically guided back to getting involved in whatever pastime she once found pleasurable. This should be done with assertively and with authority. By impelling her to embrace life again, no matter how minor, you are remotivating her for survival. Each time you animate the depressed person, you help him to build up a fresh energy supply. It enlarges the perspectives, refuels the interests, and reawakens the pleasure drive. Preoccupation with Body Functions I remember going to see Bernie Mack and George Wallace (the comedian) at a live performance many years ago, before their routines were, shall we say, “ready for prime time”. I laughed so hard throughout the night that my body literally ached for days after the show. Sometimes a strong emotional experience can cause physical reactions. The physical symptoms that accompany depression could be just as problematic. They represent the temporary disorganization of nervous function that is causing the depression. When your depressed relative complains of (headache; dizziness; heart palpitations; abdominal pains; nausea; aches and cramps; sweating; weakness in the body; etc.) vague somatic symptoms, do not reply that “it’s all in your head”. It’s not. It’s no different to what I felt at the Bernie Mack performance. It went away after a few days and your relative’s pain will go away after the depression is gone. Instead of calling the complaint imaginary you concede that it’s real but probably due to the depression. This would be a good time to convince him to see a professional for antidepressant medication and some talking therapy. In all likelihood, by the time the physical symptoms begin to manifest, he has probably been neglecting himself physically as another means of self-punishment. Surely, some of these symptoms will require a lot of your time, but attention and love are what a depressed person requires. When you dispense adequate amounts of these, the physical complaints tend to fade, because he now feels that someone understands. As far as the Holidays are concerned, remember what Public Enemy said: “Don’t Believe the Hype!” ( it will soon be over then the bills begin to roll in). Enjoy yourselves. Try to be around people you feel comfortable being around. Volunteer some time for those in need. Oh, yeah, and try stuffing a stocking with an autographed copy of “The Ackee Chronicles”. Tony VanSluytman - the Author Merry Christmas to you and yours.  Newsletter Directory The Aton Project - Home Page Tony VanSluytman info Tony VanSluytman - the Author | Return Home | The BOOK DOCTOR | The BANYON NETWORK | The Banyon Buzz Newsletters | The Aton Project Newsletters | Contact Us | |
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